Mirai no Namida
by mileouttahell
Summary: As time passes the Digidestined find they don't fit in anymore. (Aww....) See author's notes for ratings on individual chapters [Taito chapter posted]
1. Prologue: Mimi

Title: Mirai no Namida- prologue

Author: Lucia ([miathewarrior@hotmail.com][1]) and Jonathan (jonath@attcanada.ca) 

Rating: Pg-13 to R-ish

Warnings: A whole truckload, but not for this chapter. ^_^ Just beware of the yaoi/yuri for now

Random notes: This is the prologue to a 7-part series, but the nice thing is if you object to something in one of the chapters, you don't have to read the others, because they all pretty much stand alone. Upcoming is the Ken + Koushirou chapter, because we chose randomly. ^_^

Sometimes life is just so sad.

The crest of innocence no longer glows for me- I lost that a long time ago, it seems.

During high school, we digidestined grew apart from the rest of society. After our experiences, we just didn't fit in anymore.

There were a lot of things, I think- and there were some things that set us apart from the outset.

Digimon reproduce homosexually, Palmon told me once. That was probably why all the Chosen children were gay. Odd, isn't

it? But apparently, the thought was that we'd be more accepting of the digimon that way.

After high school, we fell apart completely, even, somewhat, from each other. Sora was the first to leave. She seems to do that.

I think she felt like she was in the way. A lot of people at school had also been accusing her of being a slut- how terrible! She

was really broken up, I think. Imagine, the keeper of the crest of love being a slut![1]

Miyako and Hikari left next, together. We all assumed that they were a couple, but no one can say for sure. Hikari had been

pretty screwed up. Something happened a couple of months ago, although Hikari wouldn't tell me. I think she told Miyako, but

Miyako won't tell what she knows, either. All I know is that Hikari tried to slit her wrists and Miyako found her. Anyway, they

left a few days after...whetever. Now Miyako's trying to pull Hikari out of whatever darkness is consuming her soul, but she's

taking a little of the darkness on herself. The last time I saw her, she looked so much sadder, and years older.

Then we had to say goodbye to Taichi and Yamato. Yamato is performing around the world, but his face always looks so tired

on the music videos. They've been brought down- Yamato because of what's been done to his friends, Taichi because of

Yamato.

Jyou and Iori. An unlikely couple, and another unaccepted by society. (But aren't we all?) Iori's only fourteen, and Jyou's

twenty-one. Being in the digital world has opened our minds- things aren't always as they seem. I also learned never to

underestimate people because of age. Look at some of the things Takeru and Hikari did when they were only eight! It would

astound most of the non-believers out there. I've come to the conclusion that age is mostly an illusion, and it doesn't really

matter.

Koushiro and Ken- What an odd pair! I don't think any of us have quite figured out yet whether they're acutally together.

Those two like it that way, anyway. Ken seemed happier recently then I've ever seen him, oddly enough, and Koushiro is fairly

happy himself. But still- they don't fit in. Of course, those two could probably go live in a cave and they'd be a lot happier than

living with people. (Wouldn't be suprised if that's what they're doing.) And now it's my turn. I'm so lonely with all of my friends

gone. Well, Takeru and Daisuke are still here, but they're gonna be fine. They're too strong and resilient to be brought down for

long, although even they have been affected to some extent, mostly by what's happening to their friends.

I'm leaving because...I don't fit with anyone else, and Daisuke and Takeru don't need me hanging around. I think I'll go look for

Sora. She looked so sad when she left- I need to find her and show her that the crest of love can still grow, even if mine has

died forever.

[1] This is actually me raging against a fanfic I read (part of) recently. -_- But anyway. 

   [1]: mailto:miathewarrior@hotmail.com



	2. Promises Broken: Koushiro/Ken

Title: Mirai no Namida: Promises Broken

Authors: Lucia (miathewarrior@h...) and Jonathan 

(jonath@a...)

Rating: PG-13 for mild lime, same warnings as prologue apply.

"I'll make you wanna stay with me

Befriended by the enemy

One more time

And every little thing about this tells me

Nothing out there is ever gonna help me

All these words that I hear spoken

Just promises broken."

-Promises Broken, Soul Asylum

So we find ourselves in the middle of nowhere, camping out- in a cabin, 

anyway. Koushiro-kun's fiddling with getting his laptop set up, and I wish I 

could help, only too many cooks tend to spoil the broth. He said something 

about making a living off designing webpages and transferring money to his 

account...blah blah blah. Personally, I've never paid much attention to 

financial matters. They bore me.

I feel a stab of lonliness and wish Wormmon was here.

I've heard quite a few stories from Mimi about how anti-social Koushiro can 

be. For that matter, I've heard quite a few stories from Mimi 

about...everything. (Primarily shopping with Miyako.) He's gotten better 

since when he was ten, but apparently, he's still not the most social person 

to be around. Usually I wouldn't mind. Senseless chatter, like Miyako's, 

annoys me. A throwback to the Kaizer days, I suppose. And I'm just the dark 

silent type, I guess. But right now, I'm really messed up. I miss my 

friends, which a few years ago was inconceivable. Koushiro's the only one 

still around, and I think he understands me to a certain extent, but it 

doesn't do me the slightest lick of good if he won't talk to me.

Suprisingly, his voice breaks into the silence. "Hey. Uh....that's a nice 

shirt you have on."

I blush. Could he not think of anything else to say, or did he say that 

because he really likes it? It could just be his floundering attempt to make 

conversation, although either way, the attempt is sweet.

There I am, fiddling around with the computer. Yeah, right! Like I didn't 

already have it all set up. I'm just doing this to avoid looking at Ken. But 

the silence is getting unnerving. "Hey. Uh....that's a nice shirt you have 

on." Mentally, I smack myself, for saying such a stupid thing, but then, 

I've never been good with people. Not that I don't like the shirt, I've 

always liked blue on him.

He blushes at my comment, the blue of his shirt offsetting the red 

perfectly.

"Tha-thanks, I guess," he says, his voice grown softer from his time as the 

Digimon Emperor. I always liked his voice, but this is more like... music.

"Th-thanks, I guess," I stammer, not sure how to reply. Someone should write 

a book: Conversation for Dummies (and Nerds). I think we could both use it. 

Maybe there already is a book like that. Goodness knows people write 

everything imaginable, and it's not like there's be any shortage of demand, 

either.

I finger my shirt, still blushing. "Do...you really like it? I picked it out 

myself, and my fashion sense isn't the greatest...I usually just wear 

uniform greys or something non-descript."

I pause for a moment, trying to think of something else to say.

As he fingers his shirt, I move my eyes to his face. "Yeah, I... I do like 

it. Blue's a good colour for you." Oh, no! That sounded almost... will he 

think I'm coming on to him? Not that I'd mind doing that, but... if he 

doesn't like me that way...

*Is he coming on to me? In his own way?* I wonder, and get my answer as he 

leans in and touches his lips to mine.

Color leaps to my cheeks again, and I wish I had a darker complexion like 

Taichi's, since he seems to cause me to blush an awful lot. That 

felt...really good. And it wasn't even a proper kiss, just a brushing of our 

lips.

Also, even though I know we're all gay, it's rather strange to actually be 

confronted with that fact.

His lips part from mine after too short a time, and he starts stammering an 

apology. I grin mentally, but not pysically, since I don't want to offend 

him. He sounds like he really needs that book about now. I lean forward, and 

he leans backward. I don't think he's too sure of my intent (which is to 

kiss him again.) I lean further forward, and he leans even further away from 

me. The end result is...I end up sprawled overtop of him. I seize the

opportunity and kiss him again.

I kissed him! What was I thinking? He's leaning into me, oh, no, he - he - 

he -

He's sprawled on top of me and kissing me back.

Okay, now that was unexpected. Not that I mind. I start kissing him back... 

he feels really nice on top of me like that...

Oh no, he's stopping? Why is he stopping?

"Wow," I say, saying exactly what's on my mind. When I was younger, I 

thought I was straight for awhile- I was in major denial. I finally had to 

quit hiding from myself when Mimi had innocently made some comment about the 

digidestined group's sexuality. That had shocked me, for sure. Their 

reassurance helped, especially Daisuke's- I always respected and admired him 

for his courage. (Although contrary to popular belief, I have never been 

interested in him romantically.)

The thing that always amazed me was the time he was willing to give himself 

up to save his friends...not just Hikari, but all of them. Even Miyako, who 

was being somewhat selfish at the time.

Anyway, the last thing I would have expected back then was that my first 

kiss would come from a guy- and a computer nerd at that. But a cute one.

As we pull apart, I look up into his oh, so beautiful eyes, and I begin to 

wonder what I ever did to deserve this beautiful young man. "Ken, I... we 

need to talk." He sits up, and moves off of me - oh, why does that have to 

feel so bad? - and we face each other, both of us blushing.

I laugh, nervously. *Talk? Arg, I thought I had established that I 

_couldn't_ do that!* "You first," I say, at the same time he says, "Go 

ahead." This always happens in the movies and in books. It is rather funny, 

I decide, and chuckle a little. I hold out my hand in Jan-ken-pon position, 

and he imitates me. "Jan-ken-pon!" we both yell, and he comes up with paper, 

while I choose rock. "OK, you first," I say."I-" we begin, at the same 

time.

*Oh, great, of course, I need to go first!* "Umm... Well, I'd say that I'm 

sorry for kissing you, but I think we've established that you don't mind..." 

I grin. "Your turn."

I facefault. "That's what you wanted to talk about?" I sigh and run my hands 

through my hair. "OK- we've established that you like me, and I like you." I 

pause for a moment. "I definitely like you, especially if that kiss was any 

indication. So- does this make us an official couple?"

"Are you asking me out?" he teased.

"Probably," I agreed. "Unless you wanted to ask me out. It'll work either 

way for me." I grinned at him.

"But what I really wanted to ask is if you have any basic relationship 

guidelines. My big thing is no fancy restaurants. I've gotten enough of 

being pristine and perfect from when I was younger."

I blink. "Huh... That makes sense, I guess... my big thing? we need to hold 

hands in public. I don't need it right away... but it's something that I've 

always missed, I guess... I see a couple walking down the street, and I 

can't help but think that there's something big that I'm missing out on."

I grin and wink slyly at him. "OK, I can handle that. So...sex on the first 

night is still a go?"

I take the shot, and give as good as I get. "Sure, I think I've got some KY 

in my bag... You got any condoms?"

I blink innocently. "No, we'll have to go shopping." I can't really tell if 

he's serious. He's not really the joking type, but he could be playing 

along. I wonder if he's actually bought this stuff before, and decide I 

could probably find out. "You go buy the condoms, and I'll fetch some milk 

for breakfast while we're there."

Okay, time to end this game - I think he's joking, at least. "Umm... well, I 

was just joking. I don't think I'm ready for that kind of stuff right now. I 

mean... well, I know we're gonna be living together and all, but I don't 

think we should start that quite yet." With his grin, I can tell that he was 

joking, too.

"What, buying milk? Milk's essential for a good diet." I give him a look, 

and he breaks out laughing, something I haven't heard him do in a long time.

I grin at him. "Believe it or not, that was my first kiss. Even I'd have to 

agree that too much more would be moving too fast." I mentally snicker. "The 

milk might curdle."

He grins back. "Okay, no sex for now, but I do agree with your other point, 

we do need some food... Whaddaya say we go shopping?"

"OK! You drive!" I grin, tossing him the keys.

"Aw, man," he complains. "Fine."

I charge outside of our isolated little "cabin in the woods", which is like 

something out of a fairy tale. I skid to a stop a bit to late, smacking into 

the car and giggling. Wow, being in love has me acting like...Daisuke. I 

pause for a minute. Wait- when did this turn from lust into love? I shrug, 

deciding it doesn't matter. As Mama always said, it doesn't really matter 

why you're happy if you are, and you're often better off not questioning it.

"What do you say after we get the groceries in the fridge, we go to a 

movie?" I asked. Notice- go "to" a movie, not go "see" a movie.

He laughs. "Ken-chan, we can make out here, you know."

I grin. "Yeah, but the temptation to jump you might be too great."

I laugh again, not at him, but just out of pure joy. "Sure, Ken-chan, that 

sounds... that sounds really nice."

I never thought a mundane task could be so much fun. We're laughing and 

making jokes about milk, still, and cheerfully debating what movie to see. 

While the general atmosphere when we left the digidestined was that of a 

huge thunderstorm waiting to break, I feel so cheerful and happy now. I 

can't remember ever being this happy, except maybe when I found out that 

Wormmon was still alive in his incarnation as Leafmon.

Just on an impulse, I grab him from behind, wrapping my arms around his 

waist and burying my face between his shoulderblades. He's so tall I have 

trouble imagining him as the ten-year-old "Midget boy" that supposedly first 

entered the digital world.

He shifts around so he's facing me. "What was that for?"

"Just because," I reply. He chuckles.

"OK, but let's finish the shopping and then we have a movie theatre to 

cuddle.

I detach with some reluctance, but then he puts his arm around my shoulder 

and draws me close, and I'm in heaven, or maybe someplace even better.

Okay, I'm in heaven. Here we are, making jokes about milk, trying to decide 

what movie to go watch, with my arm around the guy of my dreams.

"What about this one?" Ken-chan says, pointing to a poster for some new 

Sentai-based movie.

"Gingaman vs. GoGo V?" I say, grinning teasingly. "I didn't know you were a 

sentai fan."

I snicker. "I'm _not_. That's the point. I really got enough of the good vs. 

evil action stuff in my real _life_."

I nod in understanding. "I suppose. Alright, we'll go see that one!" I grab 

his arm and pull him into the lineup, taking my wallet out at the same time. 

He goes to reach for his, but I swiftly grab his arm. "Nuh uh, my treat."

I blush. Seems like I'm doing a lot of that lately. It better not get to be 

a habit. "All right." I have to admit, it's rather nice to feel protected, 

especially with his arm around me that way. I guess it comes from always 

having to try to be the best, trying to be someone I'm not. It's nice to 

feel like I have no worries and that there's someone going to look after me.

"Hey, we're here for each other, right? We'll take care of each other." He 

grins. "Besides, you can pay for the next one."

I grin. "Sure, you're on. Hey, let's get some candy, OK?"

He eyes me. "Are you sure you need it? And we just ate..."

"I'm a teenager! I need my energy!"

He laughs. "OK, OK."

I wrap my arm around his waist and pull him even closer (if that's 

possible). "Yay! Twizzlers!"

"You're a licoriche person, huh?"

"Wormmon always liked it..." we trail off for a minute, both reflecting on 

our absent digimon partners. No one can understand the pain of losing your 

other half except for another digidestined. "I hope he's doing OK."

"If he wasn't, we would have heard about it," Koushirou reassures me, and 

orders since we've reached the front of the line.

Why did he have to... well, I know he didn't mean to bring up the pain... I 

can't help but snicker when I think of Tentomon and his tree. Ken-chan looks 

up at me. "What's so funny?"

"Just thinking about Tentomon and his tree." Ken-chan looks confused for a 

moment, then I can see him remember it.

"That was always... amusing. I can remember thinking that if the Digimon 

were that... immature, how could they keep defeating me? But I know now 

t...there was a lot more to it than maturity."

I stare down at the ground. I'm still ashamed of what I did...he's so smart 

and handsome, and he doesn't even have to try. Being the genius isn't some 

mask he wears, it's who he _is_. I feel like some evil imposter, like I'm 

dimming in comparison with him.

There I am, just standing there... I can tell that being the Kaizer is 

hurting him even now. "The Kaizer wasn't just some other person, you know." 

His head shoots up, and I can tell he was thinking something dangerously 

close to that. "The Kaizer was your dark side, just as we all have a dark 

side. And guess what: unlike a lot of people, you beat him. You're one of 

the strongest, gentlest people I know, and I wouldn't want to go out with 

anyone else."

I hug him. "Koushirou....what did I do to deserve you? I don't deserve you!" 

I'm still attached firmly to his arm as we enter the theatre to watch the 

movie (or not, as the case may be.)

I sigh as I shove at the armrest between us. These things are so annoying, 

preventing cuddling. I sigh, snuggling under his arm and burying my face in 

his sweater. "Kou-chan..." I whisper. "I think I'm falling in love with you. 

I keep thinking how wonderful it would be to wake up like this every 

morning..."

My heart leaps as he says the words. I mean, I kinda expected them... and 

honestly, I can say the same without any twinge of guilt from lying... but 

it still feels so... so... so good! just to hear him actually say it.

"I... I think I'm falling in love with you, too, Ken-chan." His eyes 

brighten as I say the words, and we lean over the armrest and share a brief, 

but wholy satisfying, kiss.

As we separate, I smile. "Y'know, I think I could like waking up like this 

too." Arms around each other's shoulders, we sit quietly while watching the 

movie.

Until, of course, the villain comes on, and Ken-chan starts cheering him on. 

Quietly, of course, and wholly in jest, but it still makes me laugh. I just 

pull him into me as best I can with the armrest in the way, and we laugh 

together. It feels so nice...

"This stinks," I'm whispering. "Why do villans always have to lose? I mean, 

poor coyote should catch the roadrunner at least _once_ in awhile...I mean, 

doesn't he get hungry?"

He's laughing a bit louder now, and a couple of people are staring. I 

continue to play it up. "You know, this character just stinks of redeemable 

bad guy. She might as well have "I have a heart, please come find it" 

tatooed across her forehead."

"Well, the villains with the hearts always seem to be the most ruthless to 

begin with. Look at this one. She thinks she's Queen of the Universe, and 

that everyone is here to serve her every whim. And her parents probably 

didn't help." I can see him trying to hold in the laughter. "So in a way, 

it's probably not her fault, she was probably spoiled as a child."

He grins. "You're saying that being spoiled as a kid turns someone evil? Not 

in my experience."

I laugh with him. The parents of the kids around us are actively shushing us 

now, but I don't care, and Ken-chan doesn't seem to either. "Well, it 

doesn't always work that way. But then, the unspoiled people tend to be 

reaching for stuff, whereas the spoiled kids tend to think that it's already 

theirs by right."

I grin. "Maybe we should go have our deep philosophical discussion elsewhere 

so we don't disturb the people watching the movie. We have a nice front 

porch with a swinging bench on it. And it doesn't have this _stupid_ 

armrest." I punctuate my words by shoving at it.

I nod eagerly. "Sounds good to me!" We grin at each other, and make our way 

somewhat-quietly out of the theater. Of course, you can only be so quiet 

when you can't keep your hands off of each other.

We arrive at the car, and I go to start it. "Umm..." I said, palming my 

pockets. "Keys?"

I grin and hand them to him. "You had me keep them, remember?" The drive 

home is mostly quiet, with me resting my head on his shoulder and us making 

small talk. I know it's cliche and I've already said it, but I wish that 

things could just stay like this forever.

I wish that things could stay like this forever. I know it's cliche, but 

it's true. Ken's resting his head on my shoulder... the warmth just feels so 

nice, it's like it radiates through my entire body, filling me... okay, now 

that just sounds corny. As true as it may be.

As we drive up to the cabin, I grin. "Hey, looks like someone missed us." We 

get out of the car, and walk over to the puppy that we still hadn't named. 

It was a weak substitute for the Digimon, but it was better than nothing. 

"How're ya doing, boy?" He ran over to us, trying hard to decide which of us 

to jump up onto first. So it tried to jump onto both of us at the same time, 

with mixed results.

I laugh as the puppy, already fairly large, seeing as it's a Golder 

Retriever, knocks me into Koushirou. "Hey, guy. What's up?" I scratch his 

ears, and he grunts happily, before hopping off my lap, and attacking 

Koushirou, who's sitting right behind me.

I could move, but I decide not to, leaning back against him, as his arms 

wrap around my waist and his head rests on my shoulder.

"Kou-chan?" I murmur.

"Hmmmm?" he replies?

"I think I know what to name him," I whisper, twisting around and placing my 

hand on the back of his head to bring him down for a kiss.

"Nani?" Koushirou whispers against my mouth.

"Zutto."

I feel him smile and pull away.

"Forever. It's perfect." 


	3. Against the Wind: Taito

Yay! Another chapter! Lucia is happy!  
Daisuke: A little too happy. -_-;  
Lucia: Er...right. Anyway, I'll write a one part fic of choice for anyone who can guess what town this takes place in, although I doubt anyone will be able to tell me. If you have a guess, email it to miathewarrior@hotmail.com   
  
"Seems like yesterday but it was long ago  
Yama was lovely, he was the king of my nights  
There in the darkness with the radio playing low and  
The secrets that we shared; the mountains that we moved  
Caught like a wildfire out of control  
Until there was nothing left to burn and nothing left for fuel..."  
Bob Seger, Against the Wind   
  
There we were, Tai-chan and I, driving down the open highway, in, of all places, America. We're lucky that Tai-chan's family had the house here, and that no one was renting it...  
Of course, if someone was renting it, we'd find something else. We always do. When reality throws us a punch, we come back stronger than ever, Tai-chan and me. I mean, look at out Digiworld battles. Every time the enemies got stronger, Tai and I were the first ones to get stronger, too.  
"What'cha thinkin'?" asked Tai, beside me, his hair unruly as ever.  
"Nothin'. Just thinking that life's a bitch, and then you die."   
  
"Awwww, c'mon, Yama," I say, grinning disarmingly and throwing a "friendly" arm over his shoulder. "It's not always that bad."   
"Stoppit, Taichi, I'm driving," he says, batting my hand away. But I know he's not really mad, because if he was, it would show in his face, in the way his blue eyes would cloud up, in the way his eyebrows would turn down just a little, in a thousand other ways.  
"Could be worse," I quipped. "Could be raining." He looks at me curiously. "It's from an American movie...Young Frankenstein. The characters are out in a graveyard in the middle of the night, digging up a dead body to use for their experiments, and one of them says that line. And of course, it immediately starts raining."   
  
I can't help it. Of course, I have to start laughing. Only he could come up with something like that. "Oh? And did your English suddenly become good enough that you could watch this movie?" 'Cause of course, there's no way his English is better than mine.  
"[Of course not, Yama-baby. It was good 'nough to begin with.]" I stare at him in shock, and he goes back to Japanese. "Sorry, Yama-chan, but I grew up with an Americajin uncle. I learned a few things." He grinned. "Besides, Jyou has a good stock of bootleg subs of American movies."  
I stare at him as if he's grown a second head. Jyou? With illegal movies? Impossible. Of course, I don't realize I've spoken aloud until Tai answers the thought. "Of course Jyou had illegal movies. How do you think he could afford the computer stuff for Iori and Koushiro? He was running a sub-shop out of his garage."   
  
He kind of gapes at me. "You're kidding. There's no way Jyou would do something like that!"  
I roll my eyes at him playfully. "You haven't been talking to him lately. True, he wouldn't have done something like that when he was younger, but we've all grown up and changed. I think after his relationship with Iori started, he was the most jaded of any of us." I grin, a little sadly. "He kinda ended up with the attitude that if society didn't give a fuck about what he thought and felt, he didn't give a flying fuck about what society wanted and said. [1] Not that Jyou'd put it in so many words, of course, especially in front of Iori."  
Iori...now there's an enigma. Truly a pure, kind-hearted person, even after all he's been though. He's a strange mix of innocence and incredible worldliness. He's still sweet and quiet. He told me once that he never said anything unless it was reasonably appropriate. I can't fathom that, but to each his own, I suppose.   
  
I sigh. Jyou...of all of us, he had the furthest to fall, except maybe for Hikari, and he fell it all, if this is true...And of course, Tai-chan wouldn't lie about something like this. I was hoping that at least one of us first generation would make it through this unscathed...  
"This is the exit, Yama-chan." I nod as I take the car off of the highway, onto an ill-kept road leading towards the town.  
"Tell me again why your parents kept a house here?"  
"Well...it's not exactly my parents'. It belongs to Hikari, actually. A friend of hers gave it to her several years ago, not long after Ken became good." His eyes cloud up, and I can tell there's a sad story there.[2]  
"You can talk about it if you want to, Tai-chan, but I won't pressure you..."  
His eyes, the saddest I've ever seen them, turn to me in pure relief. "Thank you...it's still too soon."  
  
It was a story that hurt to even think about...part of what had caused Hikari's downfall from innocence, and it even affected my quite a bit, even though I was much further from the incident than Hikari was.   
I stared out the window for a little bit, angry and pained tears blurring my vision. I was angry- angry at the world for fucking with my friends, and especially for fucking with my sister and Yamato.  
A few minutes later, I got my emotions back under control.  
The area we're driving through is so pretty, and so different from Japan. So...open. There are lots of jagged mountains, "hogbacks" as the locals call them. The vegetation is sparse, but it's green all year 'round, contrasting with the snow blanketing the ground.  
"It's pretty, isn't it, Yama?" I ask, and he nods agreeance.  
It occurs to me that Willis lives in Colorado, which is north of here, I think...I don't know my American states very well. I pull out a map, and examine it. It turns out I was right.  
"Yama, what's the name of the city Willis lives in?" "Durango," he mutters absently. "And it's a town."  
"Oh, look! It's not that far! Maybe three-four hours!" I pause. I wonder if the American digidestined's lives have been as royally screwed up as ours. I voice my thought to Yama.   
  
I shake my head. Where did that thought come from? I suppose if Willis lives not far from here, maybe...but we haven't heard from them since the Great Battle back after Ken had just turned good again. "I dunno, Tai-chan...I suppose we could always drop in on Willis sometime, see how he's doing." Tai smiled.  
"I'd like that. He and Kari became good friends for awhile...something about a kiss. 'Course, her heart was always taken, but..."  
He shrugged. "Anyways..."  
We turn back to silence, watching the scenery.   
  
I yawn, suddenly, realizing I'm tired. We're both suffering from jet lag still, and it's starting to get dark here. The rickety old car we bought in LA might be old and trashy looking, but it has lots of personality. And the seats are comfortable. I grab a pillow from the back seat and put it against the wall, and snuggle against it. Too bad Yama has to drive...  
"Hey!" he protests, poking me. "You're the only one who knows where we're going."  
"All right, fine," I grumble, "But I get to pick the radio station."  
"Fine," he says. "But not of that R&B crap, OK?"  
I grin. I win! "Sure," I agree, turning the radio on and hitting the scan button. I hit the stop button as one of my favorite old songs comes on, and Bob Seger's sweet, sad voice drifts out of the speakers.  
I sang softly along with the music, waxing melancholy again. "And the years rolled slowly past/And I found myself alone/Surrounded by strangers I thought were my friends/I found myself further and further from my home and/ I guess I lost my way/ There were oh, so many roads..."  
"It's so sad," Yama whispered. "What's it about?"  
I struggled to explain it. "It's about...how time passes, and carries you along...and how the speaker lost his way because there were so many roads he could take...and everyone around him changed and he didn't know them anymore..." I sighed.   
  
I sigh along with Tai. "Kinda...kinda fits us, don't you think?"  
Tai nods. "Yeah, I guess...we all drifted apart after awhile..."  
I shake my head. "We'll have to do something about that-" I cut off as something occurs to me. "I suppose we probably don't have the time for that, do we?" Tai smiles wryly. "I suppose not..." "Well, in any case..." I look him straight in the eyes as I pull off to the side of the road. "You know how much I love you, right?"[3] Tai nods. "Yes. And remember, it was my choice...I knew the risks, I knew that it would happen...I love you, and I wouldn't want to live without you."  
We share a brief sweet kiss. "Tai...thank you for not leaving me."  
"Never, my Yama-bear. Not in a million years."  
"I know, Tai, but AIDS!"[4]   
  
I can see the mirror of guilt in his eyes, no matter how much he tries to hide it. "Yama," I say gently. "I _love_ you. And it goes much deeper than that. I can't live without you." I giggled. "Not to mention the good sex!"  
He just gives me a Look. "Well, it's true!" I exclaim. "I'd rather have one year with you than ten years without, and we're going to live the rest of our lives together- however long that may be." I drop my cheery facade for a minute. "We should try to hold on as long as we can. You never know- medical science is progressing further each day." I paused, knowing he didn't keep in touch with the others as much as Koushiro or I did. "Ken's gone into medical sciences, you know. I understand that we're the cause, and least in part. And I have great faith in Ken's ability." I laughed. "But only when he puts his mind to it."   
I laugh. "Yeah, Ken can be pretty stubborn about stuff...if it wasn't for the fact that Wormmon sacrificed himself, at least temporarily, the kids never would have won against him..." I shake my head in wonder. "Do you think he could find a cure?"  
Tai nods. "I think that if anyone can, it's him." I smile sadly as I pull back onto the road. "Take the next left."  
I nod, and pull onto the dirt road. That must be the driveway. My suspicions are confirmed as we pull up to the old adobe house that's still in pretty good shape. "This is it?"  
Tai glares at me. "Whaddaya mean, 'this is it'? Why, I'll have-" I cut off Tai with a carefully placed finger to his lips. "Shhh...it's perfect."   
  
I grin and nip at his finger. Well, he shouldn't have waved it in front of my face. "Unpack?" I suggest, unbuckling and opening my door.  
We didn't have that much we wanted to bring, anyway. Clothes; a few books; a photo album with pictures of our friends, family, and most notably the other digidestined (pictures courtesy of Hikari); a couple futons and some blankets and pillows; my soccer stuff; Yamato's sheet music, blank music books, guitar, and harmonica; parting gifts from Daisuke, Takeru, and Mimi; and a few other items.   
  
I can't believe how little we have that actually means something to us...I suppose, living every day like it's your last, 'important' kinda takes on a whole new meaning...  
But anyway, there's not really that much stuff. Music stuff, soccer stuff, sleep stuff, picture stuff...hehe, Pareito-sensei would kill me for using 'stuff' this much.  
Funny the things you think of when you're on borrowed time.  
Sometimes I wish Tai hadn't made the decision he did...no matter what he says, I still can't believe that he'd never love anyone else after me...though I suppose that's a double standard, since I can't see myself loving anyone other than him...  
"Tai, when's the last time I told you I love you?"   
  
"Ten minutes ago," I tease, grinning. "But that's OK, you can tell me again." I lean in for a kiss. He's thinking about my decision again, I can tell. But it won't help to comment on it, he'll just get defensive.  
I knew what I wanted, though. I firmly believe that Yamato is my soulmate. Before I met him, I thought I was straight. Maybe I _was_ straight. But Yamato has changed my whole world. Who knows, maybe a lot of people miss their soulmates by focusing only on one gender. That would stink.[5]  
As for me, I know that I've never been half as attracted to anyone, girl or guy, as I am to Yamato. He's something special to me, and even if I did find someone else, they could never be half of what Yamato is to me.   
  
"Ten minutes? I must be slipping." I lean in to kiss him. Ah, sweet ambrosia! This is the only think I need to live forever. At least, it will feel like it.  
Huh, that was bad. I must be slipping...into insanity, that is.  
But then, Tai's my soulmate. And nothing will change that. He deserves the cheesiest sap I can come up with.  
We carry our stuff into the house. It's actually pretty big...lots of space. And there's a huge field out back, so Tai can practice his soccer to his heart's content. Maybe I'll actually let him teach me how to play.  
Hehe...it would probably be just like that harmonica lesson I tried to give him that one time.[6]  
Not that I'd mind. And it might end up a little differently, this time.   
  
I grin, unlocking the door and running around like a little kid on holiday. I peek out the back window. "There's so much open space around here!" I yell cheerfully. "I mean, there's this huge field, and there's lots more like that everywhere!"  
I go back to the foyer where I left my stuff and begin unpacking, running back and forth. "We need to go shopping," I say. "There's furniture here, at least, but we need a 'fridge, and food, and some other stuff."  
"Oh, look," I say, flipping through the phonebook that's sitting on the table. "There's plenty of stuff here. And a youth soccer league."  
"Taichi, you're too old to play in a youth league," he reminds me.  
"Yeah, but I can do other stuff...maybe volunteer. They can always use volunteers to run these things. Or I could referee on weekends. Paying position!" I give Yama a cheezy, enthusiastic grin.   
  
I smile at his enthusiasm. "Y'know, I could probably find some guitar students." I sigh as something occurs to me. "How will the people react when they find out about...us?"  
It's terrible to think about...but we need to. We have to be ready to deal with anything that happens..  
Especially when I think about Antoni...his parents sure didn't react well when we told them.[7]   
  
I shrug. "Hikari was giving me a lesson on this area, as well as all of America, recently. Apparently, the army has some policy called 'don't ask, don't tell'. From what I've gathered, it means that the army people can't ask what your sexuality is, but in turn, you keep it to yourself. Apparently, this is also the underlying attitude of this area. If we're not overly blatant, they're willing to overlook what's right in front of their noses."  
"Ah," Yamato replies. "Well, I suppose that's much better than most of what we've faced."[8]   
  
Better? Try a heaven-send! Maybe not what we've always dreamed...but at least we have the property to just be ourselves. And it certainly is big enough.  
"Hey, Tai? Just how big is the property?"  
"I dunno, actually...I think there's a map somewhere in the library..." he grins as I feel my eyes light up.  
"We've got a library?"  
He nods. "Yeah. And guess what: it's got instruments. I don't know what kind of shape they're in, but you said you always wanted to learn how to play the flute."   
  
I grin. He's like a little kid in a candy store. "We can go up there now," I say. "I've just about finished cleaning up here, anyway."  
He laughs and says, "I never thought you'd be more of a neat freak than me. You're just such a messy type of person." I grin. "Habit. You shared an apartment with your dad, whereas I had to share my room with my little sister, and trust me, Hikari is one of the most finicky girls I know as far as cleanliness, and Sora's even worse. You kinda end up being a clean person when your sister and your best friend are neat freaks."  
He laughs. "Well, I won't complain if you want to clean house."  
"Sure, but later!" I reply cheerfully, grabbing his wrist and hauling him around the house, poking through the rooms and looking for the library.   
  
I let myself get pulled along as Tai runs me through all the upstairs rooms. "Y'know, suddenly being here doesn't seem that bad at all."  
"I know what you mean...of course, just being here with you..." We sigh, happily, in unison, setting off a run of laughter. "C'mon, let's find this library."  
I grin. "Only one more door to try." I push it open, and we both gasp. "It...it's huge!"  
Tai laughs. "C'mon, I'm sure you can fit it all in if you try!" I smack him lightly, just on general principle, as we walk into the huge room, wall to wall of books. There's a couple of glass cases, each holding an instrument: there's a flute, a trumpet, and a...  
"Oh, Tai, that's a..." My eyes bulge as I see the antique harmonica in the case.   
"Yeah," I confirm, somewhat redundantly. "Hikari was telling me stories about how supposedly her father's friend used to play it and the dog would howl. The whole family was supposedly musical, and these instruments had great family value." I fall silent again, thinking about what a sad, tragic history this house has.  
"Taichi?" Yamato says, touching my arm. "Oh...sorry," I reply, shaking my head. "Just taking a stroll down memory lane."  
He grins, getting a teasing look on his face. "Sure, Gramps. Call me when you're done with the reminiscing. But for now I'm gonna go check out those instruments!"   
  
"Tai, do you have the key for these cases?" He tosses the ring to me, and I find the key on it. "Hey, this is cool..." I lift up the glass case, and I hear a catch click. With a groan, one of the bookcases swings backwards, revealing another room, filled with books upon books. "Tai, did you...?" I trail off as I see the look of surprise on his face.  
"Yamato, those are...those are the...the..."   
"Whoah," I breathe, running my hands over the dusty volumes. "Histories of the digital world? How did these get here?"[9]  
"Destiny?" Yamato says dryly.  
"Maybe. Wait here." He looks at me bemusedly as I take off, run to the kitchen, and come back with a couple dust rags. I take down the first volume and begin to dust it off, sneezing as misplaced dust begins to fill the small room. Yamato takes another rag and starts at the other end of the bookshelf.  
"Hey, look," he says. "How the hell did they get our biographies? They have all twelve of us...Michael...Willis....Cassandra- who the hell is that?"  
"Another American digidestined?" I suggest. "Surely there were more than two."   
  
"Hey," I comment, reading another book. "It says here that a digimon can take on hundreds of different forms in different situations. Did you know that?"  
Without turning around, I can tell that Tai's eyes have teared with pain, as the memories of the Digiworld surge up. "Yes... yes, I did." Flashes of SkullGreymon run through my head.  
"Oh, Tai, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way."   
  
I turn around, forcing a smile. "I know you didn't, Yama." And I'm sure he didn't, but it still hurts. I hate thinking about the Digiworld- it reminds me of all the things that happened there that I can never go back and revisit. It's really stupid, I know, but every day of my life, I wonder if maybe I could have been a better friend to Agumon. But instead I took his friendship for granted. It was like I thought he'd always be there.  
And now he's not. Every day, my mind wonders if maybe if I had been a better friend, he'd be here with me now. No one who's never had a digimon can understand what it feels like to be without them. Like the other half of your soul is missing. "How do you think all the other Digidestined are doing?" I asked Yamato. "Not just the ones from Japan- all of them."   
  
Now there's a question I wonder about every day. "I... I don't know, Tai. I like to think that if there was a problem, they'd let us know about it... but there's no way to know for sure." I sigh. I want to think about this as little as he does...  
"Holy shit!" I say, as I read the next paragraph in my book. "Tai, come look at this!"  
Tai walked over, his eyes bright with curiosity. "What is it?"  
"'Young Yamato will one day be infected with AIDS, and Taichi, his lover and soulmate, will find a way to convince Yamato to sleep with him, thus sharing the virus. Neither will ever have another partner, nor will they want one, for this is the action which cements their bond, and leads to them leaving, together, for America, where they will find this house, and read together this very book, and many other.'"   
  
"Whoah..." I breathed out. "I...don't think I like knowing that someone else knows this much about my life." I shut the book and put it back on the shelf. "Maybe we should write them all up and see how they're doing." I don't know why I was thinking so much about the other Digidestined. It just wouldn't leave my mind. I opened another book at random. "Hmmm...from Mexico."  
Yamato looked over my shoulder. "Hey, I remember her! She was the kid who hit on Ken when we were in Mexico!"  
I snickered. "Really? That's her? She's a lot older in this picture- guess it's more recent. Those stories I heard about her, though..."  
Yama laughed. "Yeah, I think she was confused. You should have seen how jealous Wormmon got, though!" He smiled a little sadly. "You know, we used to exchange emails, and now I can't even remember her name."   
  
I shake my head sadly. "It's strange how much we lose in the face of a tragedy. Let's just not let this current crisis take that much from us, okay? We can't let ourselves be brought down before our time."  
Tai nodded. "I promise, Yama. We won't lose each other until the absolute last moment we can hang on." He smiles sadly. This whole thing has brought out a side of Tai that no one really got to see 'til now: his sad, reflective side. I just wish that it didn't have to be THIS which brought it out... "Tai... Do you really think we should read any more of these?"   
  
I sighed. "Probably not. They are of somewhat a private nature. I suppose if we ever wanted to check up on our friends, we could ask their permission to look at these, but otherwise we shouldn't. I wonder what they're here for, though?"  
"Who knows," Yamato replied. "Come on, let's leave them alone. We should unpack anyway, it's late. In the morning, we can go check out the town."  
"Sure," I agreed. "Most of the stuff is inside, we just need to put it away."   
  
I woke up the next morning, gently removing my arms from around Yamato so that I wouldn't wake him, and stretching like a cat. Unfortunately, my stretching woke him up anyway, and he blinked at me, blearily.   
"Hey, Yama, ready to go to the grocery store and check out the town?" I asked him, kissing him on the nose.  
"Nnnn?" he asked. He wouldn't be fully awake until he got his shower.  
"Shopping. You. Me. Town," I said. "Go shower."   
  
Still half-asleep, I manage to somehow stumble into the shower; the stream of water brings some measure of consciousness back to my body, until I get downstairs and down a mug of tea. "Much better" I mumble, as Tai grins.  
"You're really not a morning person, are you?" I just glare, unable to gather the energy necessary to tackle him. Or handle the accompanying consequences, either. Kami, he's so hot when he's just wearing a pair of boxers...   
  
I notice Yama blatantly checking me out, and I grin at him. "Whatcha looking at, Yama?"  
He gives me a "well, duh," look, and I just blink at him innocently. "Well?"  
"I was admiring the view," he tells me.  
I look out through the large windows of the dining room. "Yeah, it is pretty nice," I agree, still putting on an innocent act.   
"Almost as nice as the one right in front of me," I say, as I come up to wrap my arms around him from behind. We stand there for a moment, just watching the view...  
  
But the moment can't last forever. "Y'know... we do need to go for groceries."  
"I know, but can't we stay like this a little longer?" Tai tries his puppy-dog eyes on me. It doesn't work. I've built a resistance. Having them used against you almost every day will do that.  
Letting go, I grin. "Hey, if you want me to cook dinner tonight, we need to buy some food!"  
The mention of my cooking is what does it, I think. He practically jumps into his clothes, and we drive into town.   
  
"You're acting like a hyper bunny," Yamato comments with a laugh, as I press my face against the car window, taking in the sites.  
"Look at the rocks, Yamato! I've never seen red rocks before! Aren't they cool?"  
"I can't look that closely," he points out. "I have to concentrate on the road. You're driving home."  
"OK!" I agree easily. "Oooh! Look! Cheezy fake teepees! Mimi would love to see those!"  
"I'm sure she would," Yamato agreed dryly, not taking his eyes from the road.  
"Hmmm...there's Albertson's at the shopping center up there," I say a few minutes later. "Or Hikari said that there's a mall a couple exits up from here with a Safeway nearby. Whatcha think?"   
  
"Hmm...." I shrug. "Let's go to the mall. It's a bit more of the scenic route, and this is such a beautiful place."  
Tai nodded. "Sure, sounds good to me!" He turned back to the windshield. Y'know, he IS acting like a hyper bunny.  
"Umm... Tai?"   
  
"OK," I agreed, as we continued to drive along the road. It was really a very pretty town. I pulled out the map Kari had gotten from the visitor's center when she was visiting her friend here. "Turn right at the next stoplight," I directed. A couple turns and we were speeding down the interstate towards the mall. "Get off at the next exit and hang a right."  
"OK," Yamato muttered, concentrating on the Saturday traffic. My nose went back to being pressed against the window, me seeing the sights, as Yamato pulled off the exit. "There's the mall," I said, pointlessly. "Turn left at the light."  
"Kinda...small, isn't it?" I asked.  
"Yeah...you think everything would be big here, what with all the open space."   
  
I can't help but grin. "But if everything was big, there would be no open space, now would there?" I let him puzzle that out as I get out of the car and start to walk towards the mall. By the time that Taichi actually realizes that I'm out of the vehicle, I'm already halfway across the parking lot.  
"Yama-chan!"  
I wince. He always knows exactly how to get to me. "Yes, Tai?"  
"Why'd you do that?"  
Truth... lie... truth... lie... Aw, hell, he's almost as good as Jun at knowing when someone's lying to him.  
"Because it's fun to torture you, of course, my Tai-bear."   
  
I mock-pout at him. "Yama-chaaaan! You're so meeeeean!" I jump on him from behind and give him a noogie.  
He sweatdrops. "Tai...hey, where are we gonna get our groceries, anyway?"  
I point. "Wal-mart is over there, and Safeway is over there, but we should do our other shopping first so our stuff won't spoil."  
"Oh, good point," he agrees, as we wander into the mall.   
  
"Tai - look at that!" I point to the music store, almost gaping at what I saw there.  
"What is it?"  
"They've got my CD." I slowly walk over, checking the price. "I can't believe it, I thought they didn't sell these anymore. Hey, how much for the Teenage Wolves CD?"  
The shopkeeper glances lazily over to me. "Twenty bucks. It's an import."  
Yamato grins. "For memory's sake."   
  
"I wouldn't mind hearing it either," I agreed. I switch to Japanese briefly. "I miss hearing your beautiful voice, Yama-chan." I stroll over to the shopkeeper. "Where'd you get that, anyway? We're from Japan, and we haven't seen any of the Teenage Wolves' CD's since they broke up awhile ago."  
The shopkeeper looks a bit flustered. I guess he's not used to people with my...enthusiasm here. "You're from Japan?" he settles on, after a moment.  
"Yeah," I agree. "So where'd you get it?"  
The shopkeeper shrugged. "We found it this morning, back in the storeroom. I guess it must have fallen out of the carton or something, last time we got them in a shipment."  
I look at Yamato, and then persist in bugging the shopkeeper. "So do you have some more around? I'd really like to get ahold of those." I wink at Yamato. "I'm a really big Teenage Wolves fan, you know. I even got to see some of their concerts." I mentally laugh- actually, I'd seen nearly all of their concerts and always had a backstage pass.  
"I think there are some more in the imports section." He points. "I did like their music, even if I couldn't understand the lyrics. I spent some time on the internet hunting down translations of their lyrics."  
Yamato grins at me, and tells me in Japanese that he's going to go look around. I know he's a little amazed at how I can be friendly with anyone.  
"By the way, I'm Yagami Taichi, Taichi being my given name," I introduce.   
"John Yazzie," he replies, shaking my hand.  
"So are you a big fan?" I ask.  
"Yeah. I've never heard a voice quite as sweet as Ishida Yamato's." I wonder for a moment why he doesn't recognize Yamato, and then I realize that at the time the Teen Wolves had most of their pictures for albums taken, Yama was going through a rebel stage, complete with a Goth type look- died black hair, black leather, the works.  
"Are there many fans around here?" I ask him, as Yama wanders back with a couple more CDs.   
  
I half listen to the conversation between Tai and the shopkeeper, as I rummage around through a bargain CD bin. In the process, I uncover a copy of every CD the Teenage Wolves ever released.  
"I don't believe this..." The picture of me on the CD covers is a little out of date, it's no wonder the shopkeeper didn't recognize me. "Hey, I'll take these ones too, okay?" I hand over the money, which the shopkeeper takes absentmindedly, as he continues talking to Tai.  
"Tai, I'm gonna head over to the grocery store, okay? Meet me in there?" Tai nodded absently, but I could tell he had heard me.  
As I walked out of the door, I could hear the shopkeeper expressing disbelief that Tai actually knew Yamato Ishida. I smirk, as Tai turns to my back, and says, "Don't I, Yamato?"   
  
Yamato turns around and blinks at me innocently. "Don't I what? I roll my eyes at him. "Don't I know you." "I meant you, Yamato Ishida, baka."  
"Don't call me baka, baka!" he replies, still teasing me. I turn to the storekeeper, who's just blinking at me, and scribble down a phone number. "I live just outside of town, with baka over there," I jerk my thumb. "Call me, don't know anyone here. Just moved in. Oh, and for the CD's." I dig out some money. "Keep the change."  
"Now you're gonna get it, Yama!" I yell to him, grabbing my bag and running after him, laughing.   
  
That night, Tai and I were lying in bed, just staring into each other's eyes. He had this goofy little half-smile, and I had a feeling that I had one identical to it. "Y'know, Tai? I think I'm gonna like it here."  
"Why's that, Yama?" he asked, completely serious, in that caring, sensitive way that he so rarely shows.  
"I dunno... I just think... well, this is a good place for us, I think. It doesn't have the memories of home..."  
"I know exactly how you feel."  
I smile, and say, softly, "I'll be right back." I slip out of bed, and walk out of the room, to the library, where I take the harmonica out of the case.  
"Matt?" I hear Tai call.  
"Just a second." Walking back to the master bedroom - OUR bedroom, now - I slip outside, through the window, onto the roof. Under the shining stars, I bring the harmonica to my mouth, and play.   
  
[1] Lucia: This is my attitude. No, really! Anarchy! Um, yeah...anyway. -_-;  
[2]*laughs* And side story one is spawned!  
[3] Oh gods, here it comes...*hides*   
[4] *wails* Waaaaaah! *points at Jon-kun* His fault! He said if I get to kill off one of my favorite characters, he gets to kill off Yama and Tai. (One character for two...not fair no da -_-;) I think side story two made its appearance about here, as well. ^^; And who saw that coming? Raise your hand. ^^  
[5] My opinions shown through the characters again. I have the attitude that gender is just as physical (and stupid) as race. Who cares if your partner is black, white, or red, male or female? If you really love them, it shouldn't matter.  
[6] See Harmonica Lessons, by Lucia.  
[7] That would be the third side story. ^^  
[8] Yes, I am aware that the overall attitude in Japan is better than in the US (at least from what I've heard). Leave me alone.  
[9] Aaaaah! It's Gennai's house! *_*  



End file.
